Relationship Building

Relationship Building

  1. Establish regular communication with your partner. Stay in touch. Tell your partner what you need.
     
    • Active listening and increased awareness are very important.
       
  2. Take the time to listen. Hear what you are saying and think about what you are not saying.
     
    • Be aware of your body language.
    • Don't jump to conclusions.
    • Reflection: Lets the person know you are interested in accurately understanding them.
       
  3. Spend time together for just the two of you.
     
    • Plan activities that you both enjoy. Be flexible and compromise.
    • Set regular times to be together. Minutes count.
       
  4. Work out problems and develop solutions.
     
    • Set aside a problem solving time.
    • Both partners need to agree to the exact date, time, and location. Select a neutral area.
    • Be free of distractions.
    • Set an agenda.
       
  5. Try not to work on major problem issues when you are angry. Set aside a specific time when you are able to think more clearly.
     
  6. Do not give up when things go wrong. Make a commitment to work on issues in the relationship.
     
    • Understand that we all make mistakes.
    • Consider making a code of ethics that you and your partner will follow.
    • Mutual respect - there are different kinds of respect:
    • Respect for one's values.
    • Respect for skills, hobbies.
    • Respect for different types of relationships.
       
  7. Work towards unconditional understanding and being supportive.
     
  8. Learn to accept differences.
     
  9. Learn from mistakes. It's called growth.
     
  10. Learn to appreciate each other. Tell your partner what you like about them. Tell them frequently.
     
  11. Be honest and appropriately assertive.
     
  12. Be trustworthy.
     
    • Keep your word.
    • Follow-through.
    • Learn to build trust within your relationship and yourself.
       
  13. Help each other out in a time of need.
     
    • Offer a reassuring word.
    • Spend time together.
    • Be there for your partner.
    • Listen. Donít try to fix.
    • Ask your partner what he/she needs.
       
  14. Develop the ability to receive from each other and to give to your partner. It must be a two-way street.
     
  15. Try to see the world from another person's perspective.
     
  16. Learn how to weather the tough times.
     
    • Review what has worked in the past.
       
  17. Be aware of your relationship trouble spots and learning how to work through them. Conflict is sometimes the price you must pay for deepening the intimacy in a relationship.
     
  18. Understand that good relationships take work and time commitment. There are no shortcuts.
     
  • Be patient, set realistic goals, and don't expect change overnight.
     
  • Love: There are many types of love. The word love and how you are using it may need to be defined.
     
  • Learn about each other's values.

Sources: Love In the Trenches, Couples Communication