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P. Reuben
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Johnson, Thomas H., ed. Complete Poems. Boston: Llittle, Brown, 1960. PS1541 .A1
501
This World is not Conclusion.
A Species stands beyond --
Invisible, as Music --
But positive, as Sound --
It beckons, and it baffles --
Philosophy -- dont know --
And through a Riddle, at the last --
Sagacity, must go --
To guess it, puzzles scholars --
To gain it, Men have borne
Contempt of Generations
And Crucifixion, shown --
Faith slips -- and laughs, and rallies --
Blushes, if any see --
Plucks at a twig of Evidence --
And asks a Vane, the way --
Much Gesture, from the Pulpit --
Strong Hallelujahs roll --
Narcotics cannot still the Tooth
That nibbles at the soul --
502
At least -- to pray -- is left -- is left --
Oh Jesus -- in the Air --
I know not which thy chamber is --
Im knocking -- everywhere --
Thou settest Earthquake in the South --
And Maelstrom, in the Sea --
Say, Jesus Christ of Nazareth --
Hast thou no Arm for Me?
503
Better -- than Music! For I -- who heard it --
I was used -- to the Birds -- before --
This -- was different -- Twas Translation --
Of all tunes I knew -- and more --
Twasnt contained -- like other stanza --
No one could play it -- the second time --
But the Composer -- perfect Mozart --
Perish with him -- that Keyless Rhyme!
So -- Children -- told how Brooks in Eden --
Bubbled a better -- Melody --
Quaintly infer -- Eves great surrender --
Urging the feet -- that would -- not -- fly --
Children -- matured -- are wiser -- mostly --
Eden -- a legend -- dimly told --
Eve -- and the Anguish -- Grandames story --
But -- I was telling a tune -- I heard --
Not such a strain -- the Church -- baptizes --
When the last Saint -- goes up the Aisles --
Not such a stanza splits the silence --
When the Redemption strikes her Bells --
Let me not spill -- its smallest cadence --
Humming -- for promise -- when alone --
Humming -- until my faint Rehearsal --
Drop into tune -- around the Throne --
504
You know that Portrait in the Moon --
So tell me who tis like --
The very Brow -- the stooping eyes --
A fog for -- Say -- Whose Sake?
The very Pattern of the Cheek --
It varies -- in the Chin --
But -- Ishmael -- since we met -- tis long --
And fashions -- intervene --
When Moons at full -- Tis Thou -- I say --
My lips just hold the name --
When crescent -- Thou art worn -- I note --
But -- there -- the Golden Same --
And when -- Some Night -- Bold -- slashing Clouds
Cut Thee away from Me --
Thats easier -- than the other film
That glazes Holiday --
505
I would not paint -- a picture --
Id rather be the One
Its bright impossibility
To dwell -- delicious -- on --
And wonder how the fingers feel
Whose rare -- celestial -- stir --
Evokes so sweet a Torment --
Such sumptuous -- Despair --
I would not talk, like Cornets --
Id rather be the One
Raised softly to the Ceilings --
And out, and easy on --
Through Villages of Ether --
Myself endued Balloon
By but a lip of Metal --
The pier to my Pontoon --
Nor would I be a Poet --
Its finer -- own the Ear --
Enamored -- impotent -- content --
The License to revere,
A privilege so awful
What would the Dower be,
Had I the Art to stun myself
With Bolts of Melody!
506
He touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast --
It was a boundless place to me
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.
And now, Im different from before,
As if I breathed superior air --
Or brushed a Royal Gown --
My feet, too, that had wandered so --
My Gypsy face -- transfigured now --
To tenderer Renown --
Into this Port, if I might come,
Rebecca, to Jerusalem,
Would not so ravished turn --
Nor Persian, baffled at her shrine
Lift such a Crucifixial sign
To her imperial Sun.
507
She sights a Bird -- she chuckles --
She flattens -- then she crawls --
She runs without the look of feet --
Her eyes increase to Balls --
Her Jaws stir -- twitching -- hungry --
Her Teeth can hardly stand --
She leaps, but Robin leaped the first --
Ah, Pussy, of the Sand,
The Hopes so juicy ripening --
You almost bather your Tongue --
When Bliss disclosed a hundred Toes --
And fled with every one --
508
Im ceded -- Ive stopped being Theirs --
The name They dropped upon my face
With water, in the country church
Is finished using, now,
And They can put it with my Dolls,
My childhood, and the string of spools,
Ive finished threading -- too --
Baptized, before, without the choice,
But this time, consciously, of Grace --
Unto supremest name --
Called to my Full -- The Crescent dropped --
Existences whole Arc, filled up,
With one small Diadem.
My second Rank -- too small the first --
Crowned -- Crowing -- on my Fathers breast --
A half unconscious Queen --
But this time -- Adequate -- Erect,
With Will to choose, or to reject,
And I choose, just a Crown --
509
If anybodys friend be dead
Its sharpest of the theme
The thinking how they walked alive --
At such and such a time --
Their costume, of a Sunday,
Some manner of the Hair --
A prank nobody knew but them
Lost, in the Sepulchre --
How warm, they were, on such a day,
You almost feel the date --
So short way off it seems --
And now -- theyre Centuries from that --
How pleased they were, at what you said --
You try to touch the smile
And dip your fingers in the frost --
When was it -- Can you tell --
You asked the Company to tea --
Acquaintance -- just a few --
And chatted close with this Grand Thing
That dont remember you --
Past Bows, and Invitations --
Past Interview, and Vow --
Past what Ourself can estimate --
That -- makes the Quick of Woe!
510
It was not Death, for I stood up,
And all the Dead, lie down --
It was not Night, for all the Bells
Put out their Tongues, for Noon.
It was not Frost, for on my Flesh
I felt Siroccos -- crawl --
Nor Fire -- for just my Marble feet
Could keep a Chancel, cool --
And yet, it tasted, like them all,
The Figures I have seen
Set orderly, for Burial,
Reminded me, of mine --
As if my life were shaven,
And fitted to a frame,
And could not breathe without a key,
And twas like Midnight, some -
When everything that ticked -- has stopped --
And Space stares all around --
Or Grisly frosts -- first Autumn morns,
Repeal the Beating Ground --
But, most, like Chaos - Stopless -- cool --
Without a Change, or Spar --
Or even a Report of Land --
To justify -- Despair.
511
If you were coming in the Fall,
Id brush the Summer by
With half a smile, and half a spurn,
As Housewives do, a Fly.
If I could see you in a year,
Id wind the months in balls --
And put them each in separate Drawers,
For fear the numbers fuse --
If only Centuries, delayed,
Id count them on my Hand,
Subtracting, till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemans Land.
If certain, when this life was out --
That yours and mine, should be
Id toss it yonder, like a Rind,
And take Eternity --
But, now, uncertain of the length
Of this, that is between,
It goads me, like the Goblin Bee --
That will not state -- its sting.
512
The Soul has Bandaged moments --
When too appalled to stir --
She feels some ghastly Fright come up
And stop to look at her --
Salute her -- with long fingers --
Caress her freezing hair --
Sip, Goblin, from the very lips
The Lover -- hovered -- oer --
Unworthy, that a thought so mean
Accost a Theme -- so -- fair --
The soul has moments of Escape --
When bursting all the doors --
She dances like a Bomb, abroad,
And swings upon the Hours,
As do the Bee -- delirious borne --
Long Dungeoned from his Rose --
Touch Liberty -- then know no more,
But Noon, and Paradise --
The Souls retaken moments --
When, Felon led along,
With shackles on the plumed feet,
And staples, in the Song,
The Horror welcomes her, again,
These, are not brayed of Tongue --
513
Like Flowers, that heard the news of Dews,
But never deemed the dripping prize
Awaited their -- low Brows --
Or Bees -- that thought the Summers name
Some rumor of Delirium,
No Summer -- could -- for Them --
Or Arctic Creatures, dimly stirred --
By Tropic Hint -- some Travelled Bird
Imported to the Wood --
Or Winds bright signal to the Ear --
Making that homely, and severe,
Contented, known, before --
The Heaven -- unexpected come,
To Lives that thought the Worshipping
A too presumptuous Psalm --
514
Her smile was shaped like other smiles --
The Dimples ran along --
And still it hurt you, as some Bird
Did hoist herself, to sing,
Then recollect a Ball, she got --
And hold upon the Twig,
Convulsive, while the Music broke --
Like Beads -- among the Bog --
515
No Crowd that has occurred
Exhibit -- I suppose
That General Attendance
That Resurrection -- does --
Circumference be full --
The long restricted Grave
Assert her Vital Privilege --
The Dust -- connect -- and live --
On Atoms -- features place --
All Multitudes that were
Efface in the Comparison --
As Suns -- dissolve a star --
Solemnity -- prevail --
Its Individual Doom
Possess each separate Consciousness --
August -- Absorbed -- Numb --
What Duplicate -- exist --
What Parallel can be --
Of the Significance of This --
To Universe -- and Me?
516
Beauty -- be not caused -- It Is --
Chase it, and it ceases --
Chase it not, and it abides --
Overtake the Creases
In the Meadow -- when the Wind
Runs his fingers thro it --
Deity will see to it
That You never do it --
517
He parts Himself -- like Leaves --
And then -- He closes up --
Then stands upon the Bonnet
Of Any Buttercup --
And then He runs against
And oversets a Rose --
And then does Nothing --
Then away upon a Jib -- He goes --
And dangles like a Mote
Suspended in the Noon --
Uncertain -- to return Below --
Or settle in the Moon --
What come of Him -- at Night --
The privilege to say
Be limited by Ignorance --
What come of Him -- That Day --
The Frost -- possess the World --
In Cabinets -- be shown --
A Sepulchre of quaintest Floss --
An Abbey -- a Cocoon --
518
Her sweet Weight on my Heart a Night
Had scarcely deigned to lie --
When, stirring, for Beliefs delight,
My Bride had slipped away --
If twas a Dream -- made solid -- just
The Heaven to confirm --
Or if Myself were dreamed of Her --
The power to presume --
With Him remain -- who unto Me --
Gave -- even as to All --
A Fiction superseding Faith --
By so much -- as twas real --
519
Twas warm -- at first -- like Us --
Until there crept upon
A Chill -- like frost upon a Glass --
Till all the scene -- be gone.
The Forehead copied Stone --
The Fingers grew too cold
To ache -- and like a Skaters Brook --
The busy eyes -- congealed --
It straightened -- that was all --
It crowded Cold to Cold --
It multiplied indifference --
As Pride were all it could --
And even when with Cords --
Twas lowered, like a Weight --
It made no Signal, nor demurred,
But dropped like Adamant.
520
I started Early -- Took my Dog --
And visited the Sea --
The Mermaids in the Basement
Came out to look at me --
And Frigates -- in the Upper Floor
Extended Hempen Hands --
Presuming Me to be a Mouse --
Aground -- upon the Sands --
But no Man moved Me -- till the Tide
Went past my simple Shoe --
And past my Apron -- and my Belt --
And past my Bodice -- too --
And made as He would eat me up --
As wholly as a Dew
Upon a Dandelions Sleeve --
And then -- I started -- too --
And He -- He followed -- close behind --
I felt his Silver Heel
Upon my Ankle -- Then my Shoes
Would overflow with Pearl --
Until We met the Solid Town --
No One He seemed to know --
And bowing -- with a Might look --
At me -- The Sea withdrew --
521
Endow the Living -- with the Tears --
You squander on the Dead,
And They were Men and Women -- now,
Around Your Fireside --
Instead of Passive Creatures,
Denied the Cherishing
Till They -- the Cherishing deny --
With Deaths Ethereal Scron --
522
Had I presumed to hope --
The loss had been to Me
A Value -- for the Greatness Sake --
As Giants -- gone away --
Had I presumed to gain
A Favor so remote --
The failure but confirm the Grace
In further Infinite --
Tis failure -- not of Hope --
But Confident Despair --
Advancing on Celestial Lists --
With faint -- Terrestial power --
Tis Honor -- though I die --
For That no Man obtain
Till He be justified by Death --
This -- is the Second Gain --
523
Sweet -- You forgot -- but I remembered
Every time -- for Two --
So that the Sum be never hindered
Through Decay of You --
Say if I erred? Accuse my Farthings --
Blame the little Hand
Happy it be for You -- a Beggars --
Seeking More -- to spend --
Just to be Rich -- to waste my Guineas
On so Best a Heart --
Just to be Poor -- for Barefoot Vision
You -- Sweet -- Shut me out --
524
Departed -- to the Judgment --
A Mighty Afternoon --
Great Clouds -- like Ushers -- learning --
Creation -- looking on --
The Flesh -- Surrendered -- Cancelled --
The Bodiless -- begun --
Two Worlds -- like Audiences -- disperse --
And leave the Soul -- alone --
525
I think the Hemlock likes to stand
Upon a Marge of Snow --
It suits his own Austerity --
And satisfies an awe
That men, must slake in Wilderness --
And in the Desert -- cloy --
An instinct for the Hoar, the Bald --
Laplands -- necessity --
The Hemlocks nature thrives -- on cold --
The Gnash of Northern winds
Is sweetest nutriment -- to him --
His best Norwegian Wines --
To satin Races -- he is nought --
But Children on the Don,
Beneath his Tabernacles, play,
And Dnieper Wrestlers, run.
526
To hear an Oriole sing
May be a common thing --
Or only a divine.
It is not of the Bird
Who sings the same, unheard,
As unto Crowd --
The Fashion of the Ear
Attireth that it hear
In Dun, or fair --
So whether it be Rune,
Or whether it be none
Is of within.
The "Tune is in the Tree --"
The Skeptic -- showeth me --
"No Sir! In Thee!"
527
To put this World down, like a Bundle --
And walk steady, away,
Requires Energy -- possibly Agony --
Tis the Scarlet way
Trodden with straight renunciation
By the Son of God --
Later, his faint Confederates
Justify the Road --
Flavors of that old Crucifixion --
Filaments of Bloom, Pontius Pilate sowed --
Strong Clusters, from Barabbas Tomb --
Sacrament, Saints partook before us --
Patent, every drop,
With the Brand of the Gentile Drinker
Who indorsed the Cup --
528
Mine -- by the Right of the White Election!
Mine -- by the Royal Seal!
Mine -- by the Sign in the Scarlet prison --
Bars -- cannot conceal!
Mine -- here -- in Vision -- and in Veto!
Mine -- by the Graves Repeal --
Tilted -- Confirmed --
Delirious Charter!
Mine -- long as Ages steal!
529
Im sorry for the Dead -- Today --
Its such congenial times
Old Neighbors have at fences --
Its time o year for Hay.
And Broad -- Sunburned Acquaintance
Discourse between the Toil --
And laugh, a homely species
That makes the Fences smile --
It seems so straight to lie away
From all of the noise of Fields --
The Busy Carts -- the fragrant Cocks --
The Mowers Metre -- Steals --
A Trouble lest theyre homesick --
Those Farmers -- and their Wives --
Set separate from the Farming --
And all the Neighbors lives --
A Wonder if the Sepulchre
Dont feel a lonesome way --
When Men -- and Boys -- and Carts -- and June,
Go down the Fields to "Hay" --
530
You cannot put a Fire out --
A Thing that can ignite
Can go, itself, without a Fan --
Upon the slowest Night --
You cannot fold a Flood --
And put it in a Drawer --
Because the Winds would find it out --
And tell your Cedar Floor --
531
We dream -- it is good we are dreaming --
It would hurt us -- were we awake --
But since it is playing -- kill us,
And we are playing -- shriek --
What harm? Men die -- externally --
It is a truth -- of Blood --
But we -- are dying in Drama --
And Drama -- is never dead --
Cautious -- We jar each other --
And either -- open the eyes --
Lest the Phantasm -- prove the Mistake --
And the livid Surprise
Cool us to Shafts of Granite --
With just an Age -- and Name --
And perhaps a phrase in Egyptian --
Its prudenter -- to dream --
532
I tried to think a lonelier Thing
Than any I had seen --
Some Polar Expiation -- An Omen in the Bone
Of Deaths tremendous nearness --
I probed Retrieverless things
My Duplicate -- to borrow --
A Haggard Comfort springs
From the belief that Somewhere --
Within the Clutch of Thought --
There dwells one other Creature
Of Heavenly Love -- forgot --
I plucked at our Partition
As One should pry the Walls --
Between Himself -- and Horrors Twin --
Within Opposing Cells --
I almost strove to clasp his Hand,
Such Luxury -- it grew --
That as Myself -- could pity Him --
Perhaps he -- pitied me --
533
Two butterflies went out at Noon --
And waltzed upon a Farm --
Then stepped straight through the Firmament
And rested, on a Beam --
And then -- together bore away
Upon a shining Sea --
Though never yet, in any Port --
Their coming, mentioned -- be --
If spoken by the distant Bird --
If met in Ether Sea
By Frigate, or by Merchantman --
No notice -- was -- to me --
534
We see -- Comparatively --
The Thing so towering high
We could not grasp its segment
Unaided -- Yesterday --
This Mornings finer Verdict --
Makes scarcely worth the toil --
A furrow -- Our Cordillera --
Our Apennine -- a Knoll --
Perhaps tis kindly -- done us --
The Anguish -- and the loss --
The wrenching -- for His Firmament
The Thing belonged to us --
To spare these Striding Spirits
Some Morning of Chagrin --
The waking in a Gnats -- embrace --
Our Giants -- further on --
535
Shes happy, with a new Content --
That feels to her -- like Sacrament --
Shes busy -- with an altered Care --
As just apprenticed to the Air --
Shes tearful -- if she weep at all --
For blissful Causes -- Most of all
That Heaven permit so meek as her --
To such a Fate -- to Minister.
536
The Heart asks Pleasure -- first --
And then -- Excuse from Pain --
And then -- those little Anodyness
That deaden suffering --
And then -- to go to sleep --
And then -- if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor
The privilege to die --
537
Me prove it now -- Whoever doubt
Me stop to prove it -- now --
Make haste -- the Scruple! Death be scant
For Opportunity --
The River reaches to my feet --
As yet -- My Heart be dry --
Oh Lover -- Life could not convince --
Might Death -- enable Thee --
The River reaches to My Breast --
Still -- still -- My Hands above
Proclaim with their remaining Might --
Dost recognize the Love?
The River reaches to my Mouth --
Remember -- when the Sea
Swept by my searching eyes -- the last --
Themselves were quick -- with Thee!
538
Tis true -- They shut me in the Cold --
But then -- Themselves were warm
And could not know the feeling twas --
Forget it -- Lord -- of Them --
Let not my Witness hinder Them
In Heavenly esteem --
No Paradise could be -- Conferred
Through Their beloved Blame --
The Harm They did -- was short -- And since
Myself -- who bore it -- do --
Forgive Them -- Even as Myself --
Or else -- forgive not me --
539
The Province of the Saved
Should be the Art -- To save --
Through Skill obtained in Themselves --
The Science of the Grave
No Man can understand
But He that hath endured
The Dissolution -- in Himself --
That Man -- be qualified
To qualify Despair
To Those who failing new --
Mistake Defeat for Death -- Each time --
Till acclimated -- to --
540
I took my Power in my Hand --
And went against the World --
Twas not so much as David -- had --
But I -- was twice as bold --
I aimed by Pebble -- but Myself
Was all the one that fell --
Was it Goliath -- was too large --
Or was myself -- too small?
541
Some such Butterfly be seen
On Brazilian Pampas --
Just at noon -- no later -- Sweet --
Then -- the License closes --
Some such Spice -- express and pass --
Subject to Your Plucking --
As the Stars -- You knew last Night --
Foreigners -- This Morning --
542
I had no Cause to be awake --
My Best -- was gone to sleep --
And Morn a new politeness took --
And failed to wake them up --
But called the others -- clear --
And passed their Curtains by --
Sweet Morning -- when I oversleep --
Knock -- Recollect -- to Me --
I looked at Sunrise -- Once --
And then I looked at Them --
And wishfulness in me arose --
For Circumstance the same --
Twas such an Ample Peace --
It could not hold a Sigh --
Twas Sabbath -- with the Bells divorced --
Twas Sunset -- all the Day --
So choosing but a Gown --
And taking but a Prayer --
The only Raiment I should need --
I struggled -- and was There --
543
I fear a Man of frugal Speech --
I fear a Silent Man --
Haranguer -- I can overtake --
Or Babbler -- entertain --
But He who weigheth -- While the Rest --
Expend their furthest pound --
Of this Man -- I am wary --
I fear that He is Grand --
544
The Martyr Poets -- did not tell --
But wrought their Pang in syllable --
That when their mortal name be numb --
Their mortal fate -- encourage Some --
The Martyr Painters -- never spoke --
Bequeathing -- rather -- to their Work --
That when their conscious fingers cease --
Some seek in Art -- the Art of Peace --
545
Tis One by One -- the Father counts --
And then a Tract between
Set Cypherless -- to teach the Eye
The Value of its Ten --
Until the peevish Student
Acquire the Quick of Skill --
Then Numerals are dowered back --
Adorning all the Rule --
Tis mostly Slate and Pencil --
And Darkness on the School
Distracts the Childrens fingers --
Still the Eternal Rule
Regards least Cypherer alike
With Leader of the Band --
And every separate Urchins Sum --
Is fashioned for his hand --
546
To fill a Gap
Insert the Thing that caused it --
Block it up
With Other -- and twill yawn the more --
You cannot solder an Abyss
With Air.
547
Ive seen a Dying Eye
Run round and round a Room --
In search of Something -- as it seemed --
Then Cloudier become --
And then -- obscure with Fog --
And then -- be soldered down
Without disclosing what it be
Twere blessed to have seen --
548
Death is potential to that Man
Who dies -- and to his friend --
Beyond that -- unconspicuous
To Anyone but God --
Of these Two -- God remembers
The longest -- for the friend --
Is integral -- and therefore
Itself dissolved -- of God --
549
That I did always love
I bring thee Proof
That till I loved
I never lived -- Enough --
That I shall love alway --
I argue thee
That love is life --
And life hath Immortality --
This -- dost thou doubt -- Sweet --
Then have I
Nothing to show
But Calvary --
550
I cross till I am weary
A Mountain -- in my mind --
More Mountains -- then a Sea --
More Seas -- And then
A Desert -- find --
And My Horizon blocks
With steady -- drifting -- Grains
Of unconjectured quantity --
As Asiatic Rains --
Nor this -- defeat my Pace --
It hinder from the West
But as an Enemys Salute
One hurrying to Rest --
What merit had the Goal --
Except there intervene
Faint Doubt -- and far Competitor --
To jeopardize the Gain?
At last -- the Grace in sight --
I shout unto my feet --
I offer them the Whole of Heaven
The instant that we meet --
They strive -- and yet delay --
They perish -- Do we die --
Or is this Deaths Experiment --
Reversed -- in Victory?
551
There is a Shame of Nobleness --
Confronting Sudden Pelf --
A finer Shame of Ecstasy --
Convicted of Itself --
A best Disgrace -- a Brave Man feels --
Acknowledged -- of the Brave --
One More -- "Ye Blessed" -- to be told --
But thats -- Behind the Grave --
552
An ignorance a Sunset
Confer upon the Eye --
Of Territory -- Color --
Circumference -- Decay --
Its Amber Revelation
Exhilirate -- Debase --
Omnipotence inspection
Of Our inferior face --
And when the solemn features
Confirm -- in Victory --
We start -- as if detected
In Immortality --
553
One Crucifixion is recorded -- only --
How many be
Is not affirmed of Mathematics --
Or History --
One Calvary -- exhibited to Stranger --
As many be
As persons -- or Peninsulas --
Gethsemane --
Is but a Province -- in the Beings Centre --
Judea --
For Journey -- or Crusades Achieving --
Too near --
Our Lord -- indeed -- made Compound Witness --
And yet --
Theres newer -- nearer Crucifixion
Than That --
554
The Black Berry -- wears a Thorn in his side --
But no Man heard Him cry --
He offers His Berry, just the same
To Partridge -- and to Boy --
He sometimes holds upon the Fence --
Or struggles to a Tree --
Or clasps a Rock, with both His Hands --
But not for Sympathy --
We -- tell a Hurt -- to cool it --
This Mourner -- to the Sky
A little further reaches -- instead --
Brave Black Berry --
555
Trust in the Unexpected --
By this -- was William Kidd
Persuaded of the Buried Gold --
As One had testified --
Through this -- the old Philosopher --
His Talismanic Stone
Discerned -- still withholden
To effort undivine --
Twas this -- allured Columbus --
When Genoa -- withdrew
Before an Apparition
Baptized America --
The Same -- afflicted Thomas --
When Deity assured
Twas better -- the perceiving not --
Provided it believed --
556
The Brain, within its Groove
Runs evenly -- and true --
But let a Splinter swerve --
Twere easier for You --
To put a Current back --
When Floods have slit the Hills --
And scooped a Turnpike for Themselves --
And trodden out the Mills --
557
She hideth Her the last --
And is the first, to rise --
Her Night doth hardly recompense
The Closing of Her eyes --
She doth Her Purple Work --
And putteth Her away
In low Apartments in the Sod -
As worthily as We.
To imitate her life
As impotent would be
As make of Our imperfect Mints,
The Julep -- of the Bee --
558
But little Carmine hath her face --
Of Emerald scant -- her Gown --
Her Beauty -- is the love she doth --
Itself -- exhibit -- Mine --
559
It knew no Medicine --
It was not Sickness -- then --
Nor any need of Surgery --
And therefore -- twas not Pain --
It moved away the Cheeks --
A Dimple at a time --
And left the Profile -- plainer --
And in the place of Bloom
It left the little Tint
That never had a Name --
Youve seen it on a Casts face --
Was Paradise -- to blame --
If momently ajar --
Temerity -- drew near --
And sickened -- ever afterward
For Somewhat that it saw?
560
It knew no lapse, nor Diminuation --
But large -- serene --
Burned on -- until through Dissolution --
It failed from Men --
I could not deem these Planetary forces
Annulled --
But suffered an Exchange of Territory --
Or World --
561
I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, Eyes --
I wonder if It weighs like Mine --
Or has an Easier size.
I wonder if They bore it long --
Or did it just begin --
I could not tell the Date of Mine --
It feels so old a pain --
I wonder if it hurts to live --
And if They have to try --
And whether -- could They choose between --
It would not be -- to die --
I note that Some -- gone patient long --
At length, renew their smile --
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil --
I wonder if when Years have piled --
Some Thousands -- on the Harm --
That hurt them early -- such a lapse
Could give them any Balm --
Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve --
Enlightened to a larger Pain -
In Contrast with the Love --
The Grieved -- are many -- I am told --
There is the various Cause --
Death -- is but one -- and comes but once --
And only nails the eyes --
Theres Grief of Want -- and Grief of Cold --
A sort they call "Despair" --
Theres Banishment from native Eyes --
In sight of Native Air --
And though I may not guess the kind --
Correctly -- yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary --
To note the fashions -- of the Cross --
And how theyre mostly worn --
Still fascinated to presume
That Some -- are like My Own --
562
Conjecturing a Climate
Of unsuspended Suns --
Adds poignancy to Winter --
The Shivering Fancy turns
To a fictitious Country
To palliate a Cold --
Not obviated of Degree --
Nor erased -- of Latitude --
563
I could not prove the Years had feet --
Yet confident they run
Am I, from symptoms that are past
And Series that are done --
I find my feet have further Goals --
I smile upon the Aims
That felt so ample -- Yesterday --
Todays -- have vaster claims --
I do not doubt the self I was
Was competent to me --
But something awkward in the fit --
Proves that -- outgrown -- I see --
564
My period had come for Prayer --
No other Art -- would do --
My Tactics missed a rudiment --
Creator -- Was it you?
God grows above -- so those who pray
Horizons -- must ascend --
And so I stepped upon the North
To see this Curious Friend --
His House was not -- no sign had He --
By Chimney -- nor by Door
Could I infer his Residence --
Vast Prairies of Air
Unbroken by a Settler --
Were all that I could see --
Infinitude -- Hadst Thou no Face
That I might look on Thee?
The Silence condescended --
Creation stopped -- for Me --
But awed beyond my errand --
I worshipped -- did not "pray" --
565
One Anguish -- in a Crowd --
A Minor thing -- it sounds --
And yet, unto the single Doe
Attempted of the Hounds
Tis Terror as consummate
As Legions of Alarm
Did leap, full flanked, upon the Host --
Tis Units -- make the Swarm --
A Small Leech -- on the Vitals --
The sliver, in the Lung --
The Bung out -- of an Artery --
Are scarce accounted -- Harms --
Yet might -- by relation
To that Repealless thing --
A Being -- impotent to end --
When once it has begun --
566
A Dying Tiger -- moaned for Drink --
I hunted all the Sand --
I caught the Dripping of a Rock
And bore it in my Hand --
His Mighty Balls -- in death were thick --
But searching -- I could see
A Vision on the Retina
Of Water -- and of me --
Twas not my blame -- who sped too slow --
Twas not his blame -- who died
While I was reaching him --
But twas -- the fact that He was dead --
567
He gave away his Life --
To Us -- Gigantic Sum --
A trifle -- in his own esteem --
But magnified -- by Fame --
Until it burst the Hearts
That fancied they could hold --
When swift it slipped its limit --
And on the Heavens -- unrolled --
Tis Ours -- to wince -- and weep --
And wonder -- and decay
By Blossoms gradual process --
He chose -- Maturity --
And quickening -- as we sowed --
Just obviated Bud --
And when We turned to note the Growth --
Broke -- perfect -- from the Pod --
568
We learned the Whole of Love --
The Alphabet -- the Words --
A Chapter -- then the mighty Book --
Then -- Revelation closed --
But in Each Others eyes
An Ignorance beheld --
Diviner than the Childhoods --
And each to each, a Child --
Attempted to expound
What Neither -- understood --
Alas, that Wisdom is so large --
And Truth -- so manifold!
569
I reckon -- when I count it all --
First -- Poets -- Then the Sun --
Then Summer -- Then the Heaven of God --
And then -- the List is done --
But, looking back -- the First so seems
To Comprehend the Whole --
The Others look a needless Show --
So I write -- Poets -- All --
Their Summer -- lasts a Solid Year --
They can afford a Sun
The East -- would deem extravagant --
And if the Further Heaven --
Be Beautiful as they prepare
For Those who worship Them --
It is too difficult a Grace --
To justify the Dream --
570
I could die -- to know --
Tis a trifling knowledge --
News-Boys salute the Door --
Carts -- joggle by --
Mornings bold face -- stares in the window --
Were but mine -- the Charter of the least Fly --
Houses hunch the House
With their Brick Shoulders --
Coals -- from a Rolling Load -- rattle -- how -- near --
To the very Square -- His foot is passing --
Possibly, this moment --
While I -- dream -- Here --
571
Must be a Woe --
A loss or so --
To bend the eye
Best Beautys way --
But -- once aslant
It notes Delight
As difficult
As Stalactite
A Common Bliss
Were had for less --
The price -- is
Even as the Grace --
Our lord -- thought no
Extravagance
To pay -- a Cross --
572
Delight -- becomes pictorial --
When viewed through Pain --
More fair -- because impossible
Than any gain --
The Mountain -- at a given distance --
In Amber -- lies --
Approached -- the Amber flits -- a little --
And Thats -- the Skies --
573
The Test of Love -- is Death --
Our Lord -- "so loved" -- it saith --
What Largest Lover -- hath
Another -- doth --
If smaller Patience -- be --
Through less Infinity --
If Bravo, sometimes swerve --
Through fainter Nerve --
Accept its Most --
And overlook -- the Dust --
Last -- Least --
The Cross -- Request --
574
My first well Day -- since many ill --
I asked to go abroad,
And take the Sunshine in my hands,
And see the things in Pod --
A blossom just when I went in
To take my Chance with pain --
Uncertain if myself, or He,
Should prove the strongest One.
The Summer deepened, while we strove --
She put some flowers away --
And Redder cheeked Ones -- in their stead --
A fond -- illusive way --
To cheat Herself, it seemed she tried --
As if before a child
To fade -- Tomorrow -- Rainbows held
The Sepulchre, could hide.
She dealt a fashion to the Nut --
She tied the Hoods to Seeds --
She dropped bright scraps of Tint, about --
And left Brazilian Threads
On every shoulder that she met --
Then both her Hands of Haze
Put up -- to hide her parting Grace
From our unfitted eyes.
My loss, by sickness -- Was it Loss?
Or that Ethereal Gain
One earns by measuring the Grave --
Then -- measuring the Sun --
575
"Heaven" has different Signs -- to me --
Sometimes, I think that Noon
Is but a symbol of the Place --
And when again, at Dawn,
A mighty look runs round the World
And settles in the Hills --
An Awe if it should be like that
Upon the Ignorance steals --
The Orchard, when the Sun is on --
The Triumph of the Birds
When they together Victory make --
Some Carnivals of Clouds --
The Rapture of a finished Day --
Returning to the West --
All these -- remind us of the place
That Men call "paradise" --
Itself be fairer -- we suppose --
But how Ourself, shall be
Adorned, for a Superior Grace --
Not yet, our eyes can see --
576
I prayed, at first, a little Girl,
Because they told me to --
But stopped, when qualified to guess
How prayer would feel -- to me --
If I believed God looked around,
Each time my Childish eye
Fixed full, and steady, on his own
In Childish honesty --
And told him what Id like, today,
And parts of his far plan
That baffled me --
The mingled side
Of his Divinity --
And often since, in Danger,
I count the force twould be
To have a God so strong as that
To hold my life for me
Till I could take the Balance
That tips so frequent, now,
It takes me all the while to poise --
And then -- it doesnt stay --
577
If I may have it, when its dead,
Ill be contented -- so --
If just as soon as Breath is out
It shall belong to me --
Until they lock it in the Grave,
Tis Bliss I cannot weigh --
For tho they lock Thee in the Grave,
Myself -- can own the key --
Think of it Lover! I and Thee
Permitted -- face to face to be --
After a Life -- a Death -- Well say --
For Death was That --
And this -- is Thee --
Ill tell Thee All -- how Bald it grew --
How Midnight felt, at first -- to me --
How all the Clocks stopped in the World --
And Sunshine pinched me -- Twas so cold --
Then how the Grief got sleepy -- some --
As if my Soul were deaf and dumb --
Just making signs -- across -- to Thee --
That this way -- thou couldst notice me --
Ill tell you how I tried to keep
A smile, to show you, when this Deep
All Waded -- We look back for Play,
At those Old Times -- in Calvary,
Forgive me, if the Grave come slow --
For Coveting to look at Thee --
Forgive me, if to stroke thy frost
Outvisions Paradise!
578
The Body grows without --
The more convenient way --
That if the Spirit -- like to hide
Its Temple stands, alway,
Ajar -- secure -- inviting --
It never did betray
The Soul that asked its shelter
In solemn honesty
579
I had been hungry, all the Years --
My Noon had Come -- to dine --
I trembling drew the Table near --
And touched the Curious Wine --
Twas this on Tables I had seen --
When turning, hungry, Home
I looked in Windows, for the Wealth
I could not hope -- for Mine --
I did not know the ample Bread --
Twas so unlike the Crumb
The Birds and I, had often shared
In Natures -- Dining Room --
The Plenty hurt me -- twas so new --
Myself felt ill -- and odd --
As Berry -- of a Mountain Bush --
Transplanted -- to a Road --
Nor was I hungry -- so I found
That Hunger -- was a way
Of Persons outside Windows --
The Entering -- takes away --
580
I gave myself to Him --
And took Himself, for Pay,
The solemn contract of a Life
Was ratified, this way --
The Wealth might disappoint --
Myself a poorer prove
Than this great Purchaser suspect,
The Daily Own -- of Love
Depreciate the Vision --
But till the Merchant buy --
Still Fable -- in the Isles of Spice --
The subtle Cargoes -- lie --
At least -- tis Mutual -- Risk --
Some -- found it -- Mutual Gain --
Sweet Debt of Life -- Each Night to owe --
Insolvent -- every Noon --
581
I found the words to every thought
I ever had -- but One --
And that -- defies me --
As a Hand did try to chalk the Sun
To Races -- nurtured in the Dark --
How would your own -- begin?
Can Blaze be shown in Cochineal --
Or Noon -- in Mazarin?
582
Inconceivably solemn!
Things go gay
Pierce -- by the very Press
Of Imagery --
Their far Parades -- order on the eye
With a mute Pomp --
A pleading Pageantry --
Flags, are a brave sight --
But no true Eye
Ever went by One --
Steadily --
Musics triumphant --
But the fine Ear
Winces with delight
Are Drums too near --
583
A Toad, can die of Light --
Death is the Common Right
Of Toads and Men --
Of Earl and Midge
The privilege --
Why swagger, then?
The Gnats supremacy is large as Thine --
Life -- is a different Thing --
So measure Wine --
Naked of Flask -- Naked of Cask --
Bare Rhine --
Which Rubys mine?
584
It ceased to hurt me, though so slow
I could not feel the Anguish go --
But only knew by looking back --
That something -- had benumbed the Track --
Nor when it altered, I could say,
For I had worn it, every day,
As constant as the Childish frock --
I hung upon the Peg, at night.
But not the Grief -- that nestled close
As needles -- ladies softly press
To Cushions Cheeks --
To keep their place --
Nor what consoled it, I could trace --
Except, whereas twas Wilderness --
Its better -- almost Peace --
585
I like to see it lap the Miles --
And lick the Valleys up --
And stop to feed itself at Tanks --
And then -- prodigious step
Around a Pile of Mountains --
And supercilious peer
In Shanties -- by the sides of Roads --
And then a Quarry pare
To fit its Ribs
And crawl between
Complaining all the while
In horrid -- hooting stanza --
Then chase itself down Hill --
And neigh like Boanerges --
Then -- punctual as a Star
Stop -- docile and omnipotent
At its own stable door --
586
We talked as Girls do --
Fond, and late --
We speculated fair, on every subject, but the Grave --
Of ours, none affair --
We handled Destinies, as cool --
As we -- Disposers -- be --
And God, a Quiet Party
To our Authority --
But fondest, dwelt upon Ourself
As we eventual -- be --
When Girls to Women, softly raised
We -- occupy -- Degree --
We parted with a contract
To cherish, and to write
But Heaven made both, impossible
Before another night.
587
Empty my Heart, of Thee --
Its single Artery --
Begin, and leave Thee out --
Simply Extinctions Date --
Much Billow hath the Sea --
One Baltic -- They --
Subtract Thyself, in play,
And not enough of me
Is left -- to put away --
"Myself" meanth Thee --
Erase the Root -- no Tree --
Thee -- then -- no me --
The Heavens stripped --
Eternitys vast pocket, picked --
588
I cried at Pity -- not at Pain --
I heard a Woman say
"Poor Child" -- and something in her voice
Convicted me -- of me --
So long I fainted, to myself
It seemed the common way,
And Health, and Laughter, Curious things --
To look at, like a Toy --
To sometimes hear "Rich people" buy
And see the Parcel rolled --
And carried, I supposed -- to Heaven,
For children, made of Gold --
But not to touch, or wish for,
Or think of, with a sigh --
And so and so -- had been to me,
Had God willed differently.
I wish I knew that Womans name --
So when she comes this way,
To hold my life, and hold my ears
For fear I hear her say
Shes "sorry I am dead" -- again --
Just when the Grave and I --
Have sobbed ourselves almost to sleep,
Our only Lullaby --
589
The Night was wide, and furnished scant
With but a single Star --
That often as a Cloud it met --
Blew out itself -- for fear --
The Wind pursued the little Bush --
And drove away the Leaves
November left -- then clambered up
And fretted in the Eaves --
No Squirrel went abroad --
A Dogs belated feet
Like intermittent Plush, he heard
Adown the empty Street --
To feel if Blinds be fast --
And closer to the fire --
Her little Rocking Chair to draw --
And shiver for the Poor --
The Housewifes gentle Task --
How pleasanter -- said she
Unto the Sofa opposite --
The Sleet -- than May, no Thee --
590
Did you ever stand in a Caverns Mouth --
Widths out of the Sun --
And look -- and shudder, and block your breath --
And deem to be alone
In such a place, what horror,
How Goblin it would be --
And fly, as twere pursuing you?
Then Loneliness -- looks so --
Did you ever look in a Cannons face --
Between whose Yellow eye --
And yours -- the Judgment intervened --
The Question of "To die" --
Extemporizing in your ear
As cool as Satyrs Drums --
If you remember, and were saved --
Its liker so -- it seems --
591
To interrupt His Yellow Plan
The Sun does not allow
Caprices of the Atmosphere --
And even when the Snow
Heaves Balls of Specks, like Vicious Boy
Directly in His Eye --
Does not so much as turn His Head
Busy with Majesty --
Tis His to stimulate the Earth --
And magnetize the Sea --
And bind Astronomy, in place,
Yet Any passing by
Would deem Ourselves -- the busier
As the Minutest Bee
That rides -- emits a Thunder --
A Bomb -- to justify --
592
What care the Dead, for Chanticleer --
What care the Dead for Day?
Tis late your Sunrise vex their face --
And Purple Ribaldry -- of Morning
Pour as blank on them
As on the Tier of Wall
The Mason builded, yesterday,
And equally as cool --
What care the Dead for Summer?
The Solstice had no Sun
Could waste the Snow before their Gate --
And knew One Bird a Tune --
Could thrill their Mortised Ear
Of all the Birds that be --
This One -- beloved of M