If you want to build and maintain a good relationship, it does take some work. The first step in learning where your relationship needs some attention is to take inventory. Print two copies of this inventory and give one copy to your significant other. After each of you have completed your copy, get together and discuss the results. Discuss your differences and similarities. The keys to building good relationships are listening, supporting, and compromising.
This inventory is also an excellent tool for individuals who are not involved in a relationship presently. It can be used to identify what you are looking for in a partner.
Instructions: Read through the information listed below to identify positive and negative issues which are part of your relationship. List what is taking place within your relationship for each area. Be as specific as possible. Feel free to add categories if you discover that certain areas within your relationship are not listed.
- Finances/Money: How is money spent? Saved? Who participates in organizing the finances?
- Chores Around The House: Division of work? Satisfaction with the level of work being done?
- Children: Desire to have children? How to raise them? Amount of time spent with them? Problems with them?
- Intimacy/Sex/Romance: Satisfaction? Frequency? Preferences?
- Careers: Amount of happiness within each career? Career direction & goals?
- Moods: How do they effect the moody person? How often do they fluctuate? When does the person tend to have a mood change? How does the mood effect the partner?
- Stress Management: How do you & your partner manage stress? What happens when you/your partner become stressed? How does stress effect the relationship?
- Exercise: You and your partner's level of participation? Desired level of participation?
- Diet/Weight: What are you and your partner's eating habits? How is the relationship effected by eating? How do you feel about your weight? Your partner's weight?
- Relationships With Family: How do you get along with your family? How do you get along with your partner's family? Vice versa?
- Friendships With Others: How important are friendships with others? Do you associate with individuals? Do you associate with other couples? How often? How do others influence your behavior? How do others influence your behavior within your relationship?
- Religion/Spirituality: Your/your partner's interest and participation level?
Verbal Abuse/Physical Abuse/Emotional Abuse: Pastabuse? Present abuse by partner?
- Alcohol/Drug Use/Medications: What are they? How is the relationship effected?
- Illnesses: Past, present and how they effect the relationship?
- Life Traumas: Past & present grief, loss, death issues, divorce, separation, molest/rape?
- Communication Styles: Amount of time spent talking about problem issues? Problem solving? Amount of time spent talking about interest areas? How are your communication periods organized? How are your/your partner's listening skills?
- Pleasant Activities As Individuals: List activities in which you actively participate . List activities in which you would like to participate, (i.e. reading, walking, cooking, music, travel, art, dancing, etc.)
- Pleasant Activities You Participate In As A Couple: List activities in which you actively participate as a couple. List activities in which you would like to participate as a couple, (i.e. reading, walking, cooking, music, travel, art, dancing, etc.)